Sunday, October 01, 2006

Photogenic Face

Oopss ..... :)

Software Engineers Expressions

Engineers Expressions

Earliest size of 5mb Ram

In September 1956 IBM launched the 305 RAMAC, the first computer with a hard disk drive (HDD). The HDD weighed over a ton and stored 5MB of data.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Community Chest.. Adult

A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary.

"HA!" he snorted. "The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow
hair on your chest!"

On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrust her pubic area
forward.

"There! I have hair on my chest, now buy me the damn coat!"

"That's not your chest!" he roars back.

"Damn right it's my chest!" she argued. "Before we got married, this was
your hope chest. On our

honeymoon it was your treasure chest. Afterwards it became our family
chest....AND IF YOU DON'T
BUY ME A FUR COAT....IT WILL SOON BECOME THE COMMUNITY CHEST!"

Dusty Underwear

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer.

"What the ? ? ?," he said to himself as a
little! ; blue "dust" cloud appeared
when he shook them out.

"April," he hollered into the bathroom,
"why did you put talcum powder
in my underwear?"

She shot back:

"It's not talcum powder.

It's

'Miracle Grow'."

Monday, September 18, 2006

World End



Whats Happen When God going to be eaten its meal

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Why British Left India ?

Why the British left India?
Why Lord Mount Batten decided to leave India?
..
..

IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF SUBHASH CHANDRA BHOSE
OR BHAGATH SINGH
OR GANDHI .....
IT'S BECAUSE ...............................................................
:
:

britsh

Thursday, August 24, 2006

George W Bush Inbox Mail

Bush Inbox

You Cannot Believe Whats Email George W Bush Recieve Daily Just Look At This Bush Inbox Image
(Click the image for Enlarge)

Anti-Stress Programm

Anti stress
To Forget Your Tension Just Bang Head Here

Friday, August 11, 2006

SECRETARY'S RESUME

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can
Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole
Really seam to respond to me belly well.

I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru
My persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to
Pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .

Hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.


Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings


PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me
Taken at my last jobb



Resume

Friday, August 04, 2006

Difference between A car launch and A truck launch

car launch
A car launch

truck launch
A truck launch

Difference between A car launch and A truck launch

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Software Daddy

DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks his dad,

His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies,

"Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!"

"Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on
MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a
Cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother
Agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to

Upload, we discovered that neither

One of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete
Button."

"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message
Saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized
Program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted
In her BIOS. Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared
And said:

You've Got Male'!"

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I Am Enjoying The Life

I Am Enjoying The Life
I Am Enjoying The Life Are You

Peeping Tom

A girl I know lives on the 4th floor of an apartment, and even though it is a fairly good neighborhood, she has been having trouble with a Peeping Tom that lives next door.

Every time she went out on her balcony to catch a bit of sun while wearing her bikini, this Peeping Tom looks over from his balcony as soon as she removes her top, and stares at her.

She has complained to the superintendent about this Peeping Tom, but he says she must have positive proof before he can do a thing --

She FINALLY got a picture of him while he was staring at her.

Peeping Tom

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Girlfriends 7.0 to Wife 1.0

One Man Recently married to her Girl Friend and He faces some Problem, then he call Microsoft Technical Support...


Just read what he explain...

Dear Microsoft Technical Support:

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began giving unexpected errors and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.

In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cricket
5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports Bar 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Gir! lfriend 7.0 but uninstall

doesn't work on this program.

With regards,
Joe

THE REPLY FROM MICROSOFT: -

Dear Joe,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0
to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to runeverything.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and Solicitors Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep
it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whateve! r you think has caused them, you must run the C: \I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key.

It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a number of
times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it consider buying additional
software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary 36.24.36 (Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.

Thank you for using the program!!
Micro-Soft Help DESK

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

India Driving



A very funny look at how people drive in india.
The rules are quite different there.
Watch the white car in the top center going against traffic.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Jack And Jill (Adult Version)

Jack And Jill Went Up The Hill
To Make Their Sex More Hotter


Jack Fucked Jill And Broke Her Seal
And They Came Down With A Daughter

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Joke Of The Day

The Big Test


A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position.

After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to 2 men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The man got a shocked look on his face and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my own wife!"

"Well," says the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they bring the second man to the same door and hand him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The second man looked a bit shocked, but nonetheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes, then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her, I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they're down to the woman left to test. Again they lead her to the same door to the same room and hand her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances, this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him."

The woman took the gun and opened the door. Once the door closed, the CIA heard the gun start firing. One shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes, then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat the bastard to death with the chair!"

Tuesday, February 21, 2006